Not looking forward to biking home in this rain. This is the purpose of this post.
Too many words, I agree.
I've been actively trying to improve myself and the work I'm putting out. It's finally starting to sink in that if this is going to be my career, I need to be BETTER. It started with Mallory Callan. I finally decided to risk rejection by applying for the scholarship offered through our department, and when I looked down at everything I had, my entire portfolio laid out on the floor, I felt entirely... underwhelmed. I had expected top be so much better by this point in my life, and yet some of my best work was still from several years ago. I felt like I hadn't improved.
My sketchbooks, at least, tell me otherwise. And I know one of the reasons my AP Art concentration still holds a valid place in my work is because it is so clearly something that is MINE. I was totally engulfed by it, and creating it engaged not only my sense of visual aesthetic, but also the written word, which I've been in love with for as long as I can remember. And beyond that, it incorporated the fantasy/science fiction genre I was raised into(Don't deny it, parents. Named after a character in a sci-fi show, was read Redwall and Heartlight as a child, where else was I supposed to go?), and a newly discovered knack for colored pencils, something very few people ever bother to develop. Viewed as single piece, I still find interest in it, and therein lies my problem. I need to move ahead.
In any case, I submitted my portfolio to the department. After a long and harrowing week, received my answer in the form of a poster on the fourth floor of Franklin Terrace, along with nine other recipients of the Mallory Callan Scholarship. It may have been one of the best days of my life, just a haze of euphoria.
Now more than ever, I simply want to do better. If I can't top myself, what on Earth am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?